Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Irritable Bowel Syndrome

This post here written by Craig Mazin basically spells out the reasons I stopped blogging with any regularity a couple years ago.

I set this up to learn how to write. To think things through. And ultimately, it was a place I could visit to express myself that REQUIRED me to write.

See all these words.

But after a while it became a distraction. I would spend more time looking for a new topic, or trying to make sure all the links on the blog worked, and what YouTube videos would go with my posts.

That takes up time. Time better spent writing things that would actually accomplish that goal of becoming a screenwriter. Every step to maintain the blog was just one step farther away from my goal.

So I stopped.

And I've written 4 spec pilots and 7 feature length screenplays -- and currently have 4 new projects on my plate, and a host of other projects that are just an inkling of an idea at the moment.

To add to that, I am also doing something I never thought I'd ever do.

I'm writing short stories that I am submitting to magazines.

I also write every day.

I don't know how to explain this without sounding arrogant, but I created this blog to learn the craft of screenwriting. I now understand that craft inside and out.

I have bigger obstacles to tackle in my pursuit of a screenwriting career.

I am shy.

I have never submitted my work to an agent. I'm too afraid.

I have gotten some of my work out. But not by my doing. Generally, it has been a friend that wants to pitch somehting they like to someone else. I've ended up landing managers by doing this. Getting meetings at prod cos.

But it's really hard to push forward from there when you are as shy as I am.

I've never really taken control of my career. Never done anything and everything to get my work out to people. And a lot of people who put in the hustle, who maybe are a little more raw, are putting together some pretty damn good projects through sheer will power.

I envy them. I have a hard time talking to others. Specifically, when it is dealing with my ideas in a one on one manner.

But this year, all that is changing.

My goal is no longer to be able to write a great script. With as little ego as one can have when saying this -- I consistently do.

The problems standing in my way of my career no longer have to do with my ability to write.

They have to do with me.

They have to do with my fears.

Luckily, I have run in to a handful of people that are incredibly supportive. With their help, guidance, and direction I am feeling more confident than ever before.

Who knows? Maybe one day I may actually send a script to an agent all by my lonesome, rather than having someone else do it for me.